Tips on Telling the Children You’re Getting Divorced
If you have children, one of the worst parts of divorce is likely telling them your plans to end the marriage. Of course, there is no getting out of this chore, but there are ways to make the process of telling them go as smoothly as possible. Consider some tips on getting the best results.
Get Help from Your Spouse
It may be the last thing you want to do, but you need to make sure you and your spouse tell the children about the divorce together. Even if you can no longer stand to be in a room together, you should try your best to sacrifice while you tell the kids about this life-changing event. You need to work as a team one last time, though if you plan to co-parent, this will likely not actually be the last time you need to come together for the kids. If you absolutely cannot be in the same room at your wife or husband, you should plan to each have your own conversation with the children separately, though this requires you to choose who goes first.
Once you and your spouse are working together on the process of notifying the children about the divorce, you need to plan what to say. You might each want to say your own explanation that the kids can understand. Each of you speaking will show the children that what you are saying comes from the heart. Be sure to let each other speak without interrupting.
In fact, you need to respect each other in front of the children. Avoid arguing in front of the kids; after all, part of the reason many parents divorce is that they do not want their kids in a house where people are constantly arguing around them. Instead, set a good example, and never try to convince the children to take sides or place blame on the other parent.
Tell the Children What This Means
Young kids may not understand what divorce is, so they might not have much reaction when you mention it. Be sure to explain to them that it means one of their parents will be moving out, or even that the whole family would be moving out of the home and into separate residences. Be sure to reiterate this is not their fault and that you both still love them.
Divorces between couples with kids are often complicated and call for a divorce lawyer. If you are ready to file or just need advice from a professional, call Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. We are happy to help you with all aspects of divorce, and can offer additional tips based on our more than 40 years of combined experience in this industry.