Brian D. Perskin & Associates

Valentine’s Day during Divorce

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The most romantic day of the year. A time for couples to shower each other with love and affection. But what about those people who aren’t so lucky in love?

Valentine’s Day is notoriously hard for those going through a divorce. What are the dos and don’ts of surviving Valentine’s Day during divorce?

Don’t Contact Your Ex

The one thing you want to make sure you don’t do during your first Valentine’s Day during divorce?

Contact your ex-spouse.

No good will come from this. It’s okay to feel sad on V-Day, because you’re mourning the loss of your marriage. Using your sadness as an excuse to reach out to your ex will likely backfire and create unnecessary drama (especially if you have an Order of Protection).

Do See Other Loved Ones

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples to shower each other with grand romantic gestures. Alternative celebrations, such as Galentine’s Day, are growing in popularity. Planning a group activity with friends, such as a spa day or dinner and a movie, can be incredibly therapeutic. Even spending time with family members and your children can make your first Valentine’s Day during divorce easier.

Don’t Go on Social Media

While there is no doubt that social media plays a pivotal role in our society (it can even be used as evidence in divorce cases), you should avoid it on Valentine’s Day. There are two main reasons why you shouldn’t log in on February 14th:

  1. Your newsfeed will be overrun with photos of flowers, chocolates, and proposals
  2. You will be tempted to do a deep dive into your ex’s profiles

It’s tough to see reminders of the happiness you once had when you’re going through a divorce. It is best to avoid social media on Valentine’s Day during divorce.

Do Something that Makes You Happy

The best way to beat the divorce blues is to do something that makes you happy. Treat yourself to a guilty indulgence. Take the day off of work. Stay home and binge watch Netflix in your pajamas, or get dressed up and hit the town. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you find joy in doing it.

Don’t Rush into a Relationship

Rushing into a new relationship after you file for divorce is risky, especially around Valentine’s Day. Society puts a lot of pressure on people to have a significant other to celebrate with, and scrambling to fulfil that need isn’t necessarily a good idea. Don’t put yourself out there until you are ready, whenever that may be!

Do Seek Help

We cannot repeat this enough: mourning the end of your marriage is normal. Divorce is a major life change, and it can take a while to cope and adjust. Sadness won’t end once Valentine’s Day passes.

The coping period varies from person to person, but if your divorce is negatively effecting your everyday life, you need to seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your feelings, prescribe medication, and help you come to terms with your divorce. (Children benefit from therapy during divorce, too.)

 

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Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. is a New York City based divorce and family law firm. Their team of dedicated attorneys specialize in complex divorce cases, and represent clients in all five boroughs. For more information, or to schedule your free consultation, call 718-875-7584 today!