Brian D. Perskin & Associates

Rules for Living with Your Ex during Divorce

Filing for divorce can be expensive, and many litigants don’t realize that they are responsible for more than just their legal fees. To help combat the financial blow, you can take steps to save money during divorce. An unusual, but increasingly common, way to keep costs low is living with your ex during divorce.

Living with your ex during divorce is unconventional, but it can save you thousands of dollars in rent, moving, and household expenses. Your children may have an easier time coping with the news of your divorce, as well.

Living with your ex during divorce is risky, so it is best to set ground rules to help ensure that this arrangement goes as smoothly as possible.  Breaking these rules can be devastating.

Rule 1: Develop a Plan for Divorce

You need to develop a plan before entering into this kind of arrangement. Sit down with your ex, and create a rough timeline for your divorce. When will you tell your children? Who should file for the divorce? When will one spouse move out? Setting small markers for your divorce will help keep your plan on track.

Rule 2: Establish a Routine and Be Civil

Contested divorce cases are full of conflict, and this can create a lot stress for your children. The best way to make living with your ex easier on them, is to establish a routine. For instance, you may handle morning responsibilities, while your ex takes care of the evening schedule. This system may even help you develop a co-parenting and custody arrangement later on.

When you cross paths with your ex, do your best to remain civil. Constantly arguing in front of your children is harmful, and can do long term damage.

Rule 3: Don’t Start Dating

You should avoid starting a new romantic relationship until one of you moves out. Dating someone new while living with your ex during divorce is a recipe for disaster. Avoid the awkwardness and drama by putting your love life on hold. Remember: you don’t always share a roof with your ex. This is not permanent.

Rule 4: Prepare for the Long Haul

You need to prepare for the long haul if you suspect you and your ex will live together for the duration of your divorce case. A good way to do this is to see a counselor with your ex. The counselor can help the two of you develop ways to address conflict and other coping techniques.

Creating individual safe spaces to help with grieving is another great way to prepare for living with your ex during divorce. You should also be open with your needs during this tough transitional time. Living with your ex is not easy, and the only way to handle this is to be open, honest, and prepared.

Get Help with Your Divorce

Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences you will face. Living with your ex during this time can make the situation much harder. Hiring an experienced New York City divorce attorney can help.

The family law firm of Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. specializes in divorce and child custody matters. Our team of attorneys have over 50 years of combined experience, and have successfully represented thousands of New Yorkers just like you.

For more information on divorce and family law, or to schedule your free consultation, call us at 718-875-7584 today!