Brian D. Perskin & Associates

Hints That Mediation Will Not Work for Your Divorce Case

Some divorcing couples find mediation to be helpful. However, it is only beneficial when you can do your best to work together with your spouse in order to get the divorce completed. Some couples simply will not benefit from mediation during divorce. The following are some signs that mediation might not help you.

Your Spouse Intimidates You

If your spouse tries to intimidate or even mentally abuse you, it is hard to feel like an equal. The result is that you will not put up a proper fight for your rights during divorce. If you cannot do so, you need a professional to do it for you. A mediator cannot take sides, so you need a divorce lawyer who is on your side if you feel you cannot stand up for yourself.

Otherwise, you may end up with nothing after the divorce, even when you have a right to equal assets. You will regret this result in the long run, so it is in your best interest to hire a lawyer instead of a mediator if you cannot stand up to your spouse when he or she attempts to intimidate you.

You Suspect Your Spouse Is Hiding Assets

Mediation is only effective when both of you can be honest. The point is to work together to end the marriage without a fight, if possible. If one or both of you hides assets or lies about any other important points, mediation will not work very well. Instead, you will need to each retain your own lawyer and participate in discovery litigation to find out the truth. This may take longer than mediation, but it is necessary when you both cannot be honest.

Your Spouse Refuses to Get Divorced

This can be a problem when you try to use mediation. This is because your spouse may use any opportunity he or she sees to persuade you to stay in the marriage. You may show up to mediation only to find your spouse trying to remind you of the good times, when all you want to do is divide up your assets and leave the marriage. If you suspect your spouse will put up a fight and has not accepted the divorce, you need a lawyer.

You can talk to a mediator before hiring one to find out if this is the route you want to take. You can also get an initial consultation with a divorce lawyer to learn whether you need the help this kind of professional can provide. Only then can you make this important decision. If you do not do your research first, you may find yourself having to unexpectedly leave the mediator to hire a lawyer when you realize your spouse is not ready for mediation.

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