Brian D. Perskin & Associates

Don’t Let Resentment Ruin Your Mood After Divorce

There are often a lot of hurt feelings after divorce. This is understandable and even expected, but there comes a time when it is unhealthy for you to dwell on the failed marriage and your ex in general. If you find yourself constantly wishing ill on your ex months or even years after the marriage, you should learn how to let go.

Talk to a Therapist

Counselors exist so people can talk about their problems, and as you know now, there are certainly plenty of issues to talk through after divorce. If you go see a counselor during or soon after the divorce, it is considered normal to have lots of emotions and feel confused. But in many cases, these feelings do not improve for a long time after the divorce. Feelings of sadness and confusion can turn to resentment even years after the marriage has ended. At this point, it is a good idea to continue with counseling. You can talk through the anger to find out why it still exists. Consider choosing a counselor who has lots of experience offering advice to recently divorced patients since he or she will likely quickly identify the issue.

Get Advice from Friends

You can also learn a lot from friends. Namely, when your friends finally ask you to stop talking about your ex, you know you need to move on. At first, your friends may chime in with you when you complain about your ex. At that point, the divorce is still new to your friends, and they may have taken your side so they have no problem slinging insults or jokes at the expense of your ex. But eventually, they will get tired of having to listen to you complain about your ex's latest bad decision or failed relationship. Good friends will let you know that it is time to let the divorce go since dwelling on it is making you bitter. When they finally tell you, listen to them so you have a shot at being happy again.

Celebrate Moving On

Once you can finally be happy for your ex's new life, or at least stop gloating over his or her failed relationships, you should celebrate. If you finally feel you are ready to stop feeling bitter and simply move on, you have accomplished something and should celebrate the feeling. Be sure to let your friends know so they can breathe a sigh of relief, too.

If you are having trouble moving on from your divorce, know that this is quite common and can be helped. You know resentment is taking over your life when you find yourself trying to find out everything you can about your ex so you can complain or make fun of him or her. This is not healthy behavior for the long-term, and it may even jeopardize your future relationships. This is why you should get help.

Of course, you may be bitter because your ex owes you money, or you did not get your fair share of assets in the divorce. If so, call Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. for immediate legal help since a therapist cannot solve these issues.