Brian D. Perskin & Associates

Rules for Living with Your Ex during Divorce

Living with Your Ex

Filing for divorce can be expensive, and many litigants don’t realize that they are responsible for more than just their legal fees. To help combat the financial blow, you can take steps to save money during divorce. An unusual, but increasingly common, way to keep costs low is living with your ex during divorce.

Living with your ex during divorce is unconventional, but it can save you thousands of dollars in rent, moving, and household expenses. Your children may have an easier time coping with the news of your divorce, as well.

Living with your ex during divorce is risky, so it is best to set ground rules to help ensure that this arrangement goes as smoothly as possible.  Breaking these rules can be devastating.

Rule 1: Develop a Plan for Divorce

You need to develop a plan before entering into this kind of arrangement. Sit down with your ex, and create a rough timeline for your divorce. When will you tell your children? Who should file for the divorce? When will one spouse move out? Setting small markers for your divorce will help keep your plan on track.

Rule 2: Establish a Routine and Be Civil

Contested divorce cases are full of conflict, and this can create a lot stress for your children. The best way to make living with your ex easier on them, is to establish a routine. For instance, you may handle morning responsibilities, while your ex takes care of the evening schedule. This system may even help you develop a co-parenting and custody arrangement later on.

When you cross paths with your ex, do your best to remain civil. Constantly arguing in front of your children is harmful, and can do long term damage.

Rule 3: Don’t Start Dating

You should avoid starting a new romantic relationship until one of you moves out. Dating someone new while living with your ex during divorce is a recipe for disaster. Avoid the awkwardness and drama by putting your love life on hold. Remember: you don’t always share a roof with your ex. This is not permanent.

Rule 4: Prepare for the Long Haul

You need to prepare for the long haul if you suspect you and your ex will live together for the duration of your divorce case. A good way to do this is to see a counselor with your ex. The counselor can help the two of you develop ways to address conflict and other coping techniques.

Creating individual safe spaces to help with grieving is another great way to prepare for living with your ex during divorce. You should also be open with your needs during this tough transitional time. Living with your ex is not easy, and the only way to handle this is to be open, honest, and prepared.

Get Help with Your Divorce

Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences you will face. Living with your ex during this time can make the situation much harder. Hiring an experienced New York City divorce attorney can help.

The family law firm of Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. specializes in divorce and child custody matters. Our team of attorneys have over 50 years of combined experience, and have successfully represented thousands of New Yorkers just like you.

For more information on divorce and family law, or to schedule your free consultation, call us at 718-875-7584 today!

Parallel Parenting: Conflict Free Co-Parenting

Parallel Parenting: Alternative Co-Parenting

Last week, we briefly touched on parallel parenting during our discussion on alternative forms of co-parenting. However, this method deserves more in-depth coverage, as it can be helpful for divorcees who are unable to co-parent successfully.

What is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel Parenting allows for divorced couples to co-parent while keeping their interaction with each other to a minimum. This method was developed for couples involved in high-conflict divorces. It is also useful for parents who can not interact without fighting.

During parallel parenting, parents are able to make decisions regarding their children without having to consult with their ex. For this to work, parents much agree on which aspects of their children’s upbringing they want to have control over. For instance, one parent will make all medical decisions, and the other will handle schooling and extracurricular activities.

Changing Communication Strategies

The main goal of parallel parenting is for children to be raised in a conflict free environment. In order to do this, parents must change the way they communicate with each other. To accomplish this, parents can:

  • Only communicate via email, text message, or on co-parenting apps
  • Keep conversations factual, and do not let emotion take control
  • Never attend the same school or extra-curricular functions
  • Do not spend time alone with the other parent
  • Arrange a neutral location for custody exchanges
  • Use a third-party to help with custody exchanges

These changes will not happen overnight. They take work. Parallel parenting is not easy, and there will be some trial and error. But, remember: this co-parenting method is good for children.

Pros and Cons to Parallel Parenting

The pros to parallel parenting far outweigh the cons. Since communication between parents is limited, there is less stress. Parallel parenting may even result in lower legal fees, as parents won’t get stuck in a loop of conflict and litigation. This method also helps to foster a stronger relationship between the child and each parent.

In some cases, parallel parenting can have a negative impact on children. Some kids can have difficulties moving between households, and may develop a sense of loyalty to one parent. Children can also feel hurt when they can’t have both parents at graduations, sporting events, and birthday parties.

Get the Help Need

In order for parallel parenting to work, both parents need be on the same page. They must realize that they cannot co-parent without a great deal of strife. Developing an effective co-parenting method is a marathon, and not a sprint. It requires the help of an experienced family law attorney.

Trust the team at Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. to customize a hand crafted divorce and co-parenting strategy for you. For more information, or to schedule a free consultation, contact us at 718-875-7584 today!

Introducing Legal Financing with Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C.

divorce funding

At Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C., we are sensitive to the fact that divorce and family law cases can be expensive. We encourage our clients to take measures to keep their legal fees low, but sometimes, that isn’t enough. This is why we are proud to announce that our firm now offers legal financing to all New Yorkers.

What is Legal Financing?

There are many benefits to using legal financing to fund your divorce or family law case:

  • Pay your retainer fee without draining your bank account
  • Keep up to date with future legal bills
  • Have a less stressful case, without having to worry about money

The Legal Financing Process

We have partnered with FlexxBuy LLC to make applying for legal funding fast, easy, and stress free. Just answer a few short questions, and within seconds, you will have a list of financing packages that best suit your needs.

You are able to request legal funding in any amount, ranging from $1,000.00 to $40,000.00. Applying for funding with us will not impact your credit score, and there is no obligation to choose a financing package.

You don’t need to worry about scrambling to pay back your financing loan, either. Depending on the type of financing package you select, you will have between 12 months to 4 or 5 years to pay back your loan.

Apply Now!

Divorce is stressful enough without having to worry about how you will pay your legal bills. Click here to apply for legal financing with Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C..

For more information on divorce and family law in New York City, contact us at 718-875-7584 to schedule a free consultation today!

Divorce by Publication in New York

Despite popular belief, it is possible to get a divorce if you don’t know where your spouse lives. This process is called Divorce by Publication, and it isn’t easy. Divorce by Publication is a long and tedious process, and you should not proceed without an attorney.

An Overview of Divorce by Publication

This kind of divorce is necessary if your spouse has abandoned you, and you do not know where they live. Typically, your spouse would need to be personally served with a Summons after you initiate a divorce action, which is not possible if you are unaware of where they reside.

The divorce by publication process has a few intricate steps that must followed:

  • Performing a diligent search for your spouse;
  • Drafting and filing appropriate documents with the court;
  • Appearing before a Judge and getting permission to proceed with a divorce by publication;
  • Publishing your notice in an appropriate newspaper, and filing your final divorce documents.

Performing a Diligent Search

Before you can petition the court for a divorce by publication, you must thoroughly search for your spouse. The following agencies must be searched:

  • United States Military;
  • NYC Board of Elections and Telephone Directories (for all 5 boroughs);
  • New York DMV and the U.S. Postal Service;
  • Internet search with result reports;
  • A visit to your spouse’s last known address.

Court Procedure and Publication

You will need to proceed with drafting and filing documents in court if you are unable to locate your spouse during your search. Work with your attorney to prepare an Affidavit of Plaintiff, your search results, and a sample of the Summons with Notice that you wish to publish. You will also need to submit a copy of your divorce papers.

Once the court grants your request, you may publish your Summons with Notice or Verified Complaint in a newspaper. You will select a newspaper that is circulated in the area where your spouse was last believed to live. Many plaintiffs publish their Summons in the New York Law Journal, as well.

You must publish your Summons once a week, for three weeks, with the first publication date being within 30 days of court approval. After the three weeks is completed, you need to file an Affidavit of Service within 20 days. If your spouse does not see the publication, or fails to respond within 30 days, then you can proceed with your divorce.

The Downside of Divorce by Publication

Divorce by publication is costly and time consuming. In addition to traditional costs associated with a divorce, you will need to hire a private investigator, pay agency fees, and pay to have your Summons published.

A divorce by publication should be your last resort, and should only be considered after all of your other options have been exhausted. Given the intricate nature of this kind of proceeding, it is crucial that you hire a reputable and experienced divorce attorney.

For more information on divorce proceedings in New York City, contact the law firm of Brian D. Perksin & Associates P.C. at 718-875-7584 today!

Why Should You Hire Brian D. Perskin & Associates for Your Divorce Case?

New York City divorce lawyers are a dime a dozen. With an over-saturated market, why should you hire Brian Perskin & Associates P.C. to represent you during your divorce or child custody case?

A Divorce Powerhouse

Brian Perskin, a graduate of Washington College of Law, opened his firm in 1991, which has grown from a one-man operation to one of NYC’s top divorce powerhouses. Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. now hosts a team of expert attorneys, along with a complete paralegal support staff, all working tirelessly to get you a fair settlement.

Intelligent and Aggressive Representation

What makes Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. stand out among their peers is their unique approach to representation. They take the time to sit down with each prospective client, really get a clear understanding of their case, and the outcome they hope to achieve.

Brian Perskin and his team of attorneys cater to each client’s needs by creating a custom case and divorce strategy. Each lawyer has their own style of representation, some favoring settlement, while others are eager to litigate in front of a judge. This diverse practice style allows the firm to advocate efficiently and effectively for all New Yorkers facing a divorce or child custody battle.

Brian Wrote the Book on Divorce Strategy

In order to have a successful case, you need a winning divorce strategy. And who better to create one than the person who literally wrote the book on it? Brian Perskin authored “Winning Divorce Strategies” with the intention of sharing his knowledge with New Yorkers by providing tips and pointers on how to handle divorce, child custody, to help ensure a successful outcome.

Previously only available on Amazon, you can now get a free copy of “Winning Divorce Strategies” on But hurry, this is a limited time offer- get it while you still can!

download free book lightExperts in Their Field

The attorneys at Brian D. Perskin & Associates are experts in matrimonial and family law, with an emphasis being placed on complex divorce matters. Such matters often include:

  • A prolonged discovery process
  • Multiple depositions
  • Tough property distribution negotiations, especially for high net worth clients
  • Sensitive child custody issues
  • Various court appearances

Due to their nature, complex divorce actions take a great deal of time to complete, and require the assistance of an experienced attorney. The team of lawyers at Brian D. Perskin & Associates spend countless hours combing through financial documents, negotiating with opposing counsel, and advocating for their clients in the court room.

The Proof is in the Pudding

If you won’t go to a new restaurant without visiting Yelp first, why should hiring a divorce lawyer be any different? A surefire way to know if a law firm is right for you is to check out reviews on Yelp, Avvo, and Google+.

Unbiased client reviews provide a unique insight into a law firm, often touching the triumphs and successes of the lawyers, while also mentioning any difficulties other clients may have had. They really do provide a well-rounded look into a law firm!

So, spend some time researching the attorneys and law firms you are interested in, and figure out who is best to handle your case. The right team of attorneys can make all the difference.

Attempting to represent yourself during a divorce or child custody case can have disastrous results. So can hiring the wrong attorney. Protect yourself, and your family, by allowing Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. to fight for your rights, and get you the divorce settlement you deserve.

Call 718-875-7584 to schedule a free, no-obligation, consultation today.