Deciding to get a divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. The idea of breaking up the only home life your children have ever known is terrifying, and can leave you feeling guilty. Attempting to spare your kids the initial shock, confusion or pain of divorce should never be the reason why you stay in a marriage that isn't working out.
Children are becoming increasingly more aware of their surroundings as they age, and they do notice when their parents aren't happy together. The fact that children and teens can sense the tension between you and your spouse can affect them more than an actual divorce. In theory, proceeding with divorce can actually be beneficial to your children. In situations such as there, there are telltale signs that you and your partner should call it quits. These signs can include a breakdown of communication, abuse (emotional, psychological), domestic violence, infidelity or a lack of trust. In instances where spouses opt to remain married to their partner, children are often left wishing that their parents would file for divorce.
The Huffington Post recently published an article, with help from children of divorce, detailing why staying married in an attempt to benefit kids is a bad idea:
- Anger a parent has towards his or her spouse will often be deflected onto the children.
- Overhearing constant arguments between their parents can cause children more unnecessary stress.
- Toxic home environments (those pre-divorce) lead to higher levels of stress and anxiety in children, as well as more instances of unhappiness.
There are a lot of reasons why choosing to divorce can be the best decision when children are involved, many of which weren't mentioned in the Huffington Post Article. While these reasons do vary, it can be argued that children who see their parents in unhappy marriages will get a skewed idea of what happy relationships are really like. Instead of forming successful or healthy relationships as adults, they are likely to make the same mistakes as their parents. Children are surprisingly resilient to divorce, and their ability to process such a life change is impressive. While it goes without saying that children will feel some sort of negativity in regards to your divorce (sadness, confusion, anger, etc.), they are able to cope with these things quite well. Children, regardless of their age, will benefit greatly growing up in a happy and loving household, rather than one filled with resentment.
The decision to divorce is not an easy one to make. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration, and they shouldn't be taken lightly. If you're considering a divorce, with or without children, contact Brian D. Perskin & Associates. As experts in the fields of matrimonial and family law, Brian and his staff have the experience and knowledge necessary to provide you with the best representation possible. Call (718) 875-7584 to schedule a free consultation in our main office, centrally located in Downtown Brooklyn. Take the first step to divorce by contacting the best New York City family law firm today!