GET HELP NOTIFYING OTHERS OF YOUR DIVORCE
One of the most difficult aspects of the divorce process is figuring out how to tell others about it. If you are worried about how friends and family members will react, remember that they will likely be there for you in your time of need. Many of them are probably divorced, too, so you can expect some advice and comforting words from those who have been in your shoes.
If you are not sure how to tell everyone, know that you are advised to notify others in a way that seems fitting. When it comes to your best friends and family members, a phone call or in-person chat might be the most personal approach, and you can easily get some advice this way. Once you are ready to let others know, you might consider easier, faster ways, such as through text messages and status updates on social media sites.
TELLING THE KIDS
This is likely the part you are dreading most, but you will get through it. If you have been putting it off, realize that having your kids find out from other people is far more damaging than any approach you would take. This means you should do it fairly soon after filing for divorce.
The timing all depends on how quickly the divorce is moving. If major decisions are being made, such as one parent moving out soon, you need to let your kids know. Letting them be blindsided when their mother or father moves out is not advisable, no matter their ages.
Many couples choose to have a family meeting to discuss divorce. After all, it is a serious matter that will have life-changing consequences for your kids, whether it is for the best or not. This is why you and your spouse should schedule a date and time to gather your kids into one room at home. Make sure you have their full attention as you announce the divorce, and keep in mind how they are feeling. Let them know they can ask anything they need to in order to better understand what is going on.
Some kids take the news better than the parents might expect. However, your kids might seem like they are fine, yet they might begin struggling in school or while socializing. Many kids are not great at communicating their feelings, so their negative emotions may manifest in other ways, such as through bad grades. You probably will not notice such signs for a few months, so be sure to keep an eye on your kids long after the divorce process has started.
If it seems your children are coping well, it may be because they understand the benefits of divorce. Just like you, they may feel relieved that their parents can finally end the constant arguments and be happy. Since the divorce rate is so high these days, they probably have several friends whose parents are divorced, which can help them deal with the news.
STAY ON THE SAME PAGE AS YOUR SPOUSE
You may not be able to agree on much, but you and your spouse both love your children and want to make sure they are okay throughout the process. This is why you should talk to your spouse before telling the kids about the divorce. You need to present a united front to your children since you are both still their parents, and they need to see that.
Be sure to avoid blaming your spouse when you talk to your children. Do not speak badly about their other parent, since this will only end up hurting them and putting them in the middle. Make sure your spouse understands this, too. If you can agree on just one thing, this should be it.
Of course, if you have any questions on how to tell your children or other loved ones about the divorce, we at Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. are here to help. Together, our lawyers have more than 40 years of experience, so we have helped countless clients deal with the divorce process. If you want our advice or legal representation, fill out an online case evaluation form so we can get started.
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For more information about how our office can help with your divorce matter, please contact a New York divorce attorney from our firm to receive our comprehensive legal support.